It means nothing, the due date. It’s a guestimation at best, but we’re keeping our fingers crossed that he decides to come in May at least.
I’m on my maternity leave, and doing nothing but cook and decorate the new apartment. Oh and eat. I eat like a full grown racehorse during competition season. And I am doing absolutely no training nor am I exercising in any other sense. My feet are so swollen that I actually cannot wear my regular shoes. Like little raised breads with sausages for toes.
But to be quite frank, the pregnancy has been running about as smoothly as a pregnancies go. Pudgy the whale has kept extremely active and he is growing faster than the regular babies but at the last checkup he was +16% over average size so it is all within reason. Now it’s just a countdown, which will officially start tomorrow when there is only 15 days until his original due date.
But I also worry. I worry about finances, about Sean’s residency issues about the labor and actually bringing a child into this world. How will he be? What if we don’t bond at first, what if I can’t breastfeed?
There are too many variables and it stresses me out. What if I don’t know how to be a good mother to the little whale? What if my insecurities get the better of me and I freeze up..? It’s all there, all these thoughts and ideas. All these worries and then add the weight gain and the lack of sleep and you have set yourself up for some lunacy. This not taking into account all the raging hormones playing tricks on you.
But, soon enough we will all find out just how it all goes. It’s just about waiting it all out, have patience, something I have a lack of.